Why Work Before Play Doesn’t Work (Making Time for Art, Part 4)
This is the last in a four-part series on making time for art. The original premise of this series is that having time, or feeling control over your time, is the proper management of four things: priorities (Part 1), focus (Part 2), awareness (Part 3), and energy (this post).
The traditional way of scheduling our time is to do the heavy lifting first: the intense intellectual work, or the more odious tasks, or the clear-the-decks stuff meant to make head space or physical space for the fun stuff. Once that stuff is done, the logic goes, you can relax and really get into the good stuff: reading, writing, making art, whatever.
But by that logic, most people never actually get to their art. I know countless parents who are itching to write a novel or make papier-mache pigs or learn to salsa dance. But they’re not doing it because the responsibilities of running a family and a household always take precedence. Always. The dishes, the laundry, the groceries, the cooking, the soccer practice, the play dates, the school fundraisers, the birthday parties, the holiday shopping — the tasks of parenting and householding are never-ending. And they suck us dry so that, by the end of the day, there is no juice left in us for writing, for art.
The reality is, we’ve been doing it all backwards. Work Before Play — because that’s what this is; that’s how we parents are ordering our days without even realizing it — is an old Puritanical principle that shortchanges you before your day has even begun.
Why?
- Because the stuff you don’t want to do – the “work” – drains your energy.
- Because doing odious tasks first, before anything else, sets the wrong tone for the day.
- Because putting work before play sends your psyche an unconscious message that you don’t deserve fun – or at least that you have to earn it. Which is no fun at all.
Why on earth would you deplete your energy, set a negative tone for the day, and consistently tell yourself that you don’t deserve to have fun? If your therapist or your spouse or your friend told you as much, in such bald terms, you would balk: It just doesn’t sound right. Because it’s not.
In my experience, there are four types of activities:
- Energy-generating activities: (1) Stuff you have energy for that also generates more energy. For me, an example of this activity is making art. (2) Stuff you don’t have the energy for that, once you do it, generates energy. For me, this would be exercise.
- Energy-depleting activities: (3) Stuff you initially have the energy for but that ultimately depletes your energy (more on these below). (4) Stuff you don’t have the energy for that, when you finally do it, depletes your energy further. For me, this would be doing business writing.
Activities that you initially have the energy for but that ultimately deplete your energy are especially toxic because the energy may be coming from false perceptions or expectations that are out of whack with reality. Your energy is depleted when you inevitably run into roadblocks, disappointments, and frustration. These are the things that make you feel like you’re swimming upstream, or hitting your head against a brick wall. Generally they require serious soul-searching, reality checking, and/or taking it slower – maybe you’re trying to jump ahead to a skill level you haven’t yet achieved and need, for example, to take a class or get some mentoring.
With the exception of Type 3, which probably needs a complete overhaul altogether, this also happens to be the basic sequence in which you should order your day. (I’d argue you shouldn’t be doing #3 at all – if you are, that would be the first issue to address.) You could change up the first two, but you really shouldn’t be doing stuff that depletes your energy as the kick-off to your day. In fact, the further back you can push that stuff, the better, because the energy you generate from the fun stuff can actually make the energy-depleting work go easier.
So these are the questions to ask yourself:
- What do I do that I start out with abundant energy for – I don’t have to muster it up to begin — and generate more energy along the way?
- What gives me energy – maybe I have to rally to begin but by the end of the task I’m brimming with excitement and verve?
- What do I get all excited about that eventually drains, depletes, or deflates me? What is going on in that situation that I’m not seeing clearly or acknowledging fully? How does the situation serve me as it is? Do I need to drop it or transform it? How would I do this? How would my life change if I did?
- What do I resent and resist that ends up draining my energy when I do it? What am I getting out of this activity? How does it affect the rest of my life? How can I change it?
Try this: For just one week, do something energy-generating first thing in the morning. Take a walk, paint, call a friend, play with your dog. Whatever generates energy for you, whether you have to muster that energy up or have ready access to it. Then do the energy-depleting work and see if it isn’t easier than usual. See if it’s not more productive — even, dare I say, more enjoyable. I can almost guarantee it will be.
And that is some deep time management.
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In: I can't focus., I can't get inspired., I don't have time., I have too many projects on my plate., I'm a parent., I'm overwhelmed.
on October 14, 2010 at 12:28 pm
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kathy Crabb, Kathy Crabb. Kathy Crabb said: Why work before play just doesn't work — permission to play! http://ow.ly/2ThxR #timemanagement #energy #artists #writers #parents [...]
on October 15, 2010 at 5:54 pm
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Brilliant! Yes, yes, yes! It’s great to have this laid out so clearly and generously.
My husband, Nick and I were talking about it this morning and we realised that this is why we’ve been doing what we’ve been doing now for a while:
We’ve found that some form of daily practice first thing, ie: Meditation/exercise (yoga, walking, tai chi, etc) and journalling (writing, drawing – and yes, written meditation) shifts the head/body space, developing a new mindset (one that isn’t focussed on the yukkiness of the “jobs” or the tasks to get done), but invests instead in a more creative mindset throughout the day.
So that we can “be artists” even when we’re doing the dishes, our tax, at work, etc. So simple, so delicious, and yet, so easy to overlook!
Great post. Thank you.
on October 17, 2010 at 5:04 pm
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Thanks for your comment, Ming-Zhu. It’s so true — and so hard, especially for those of us who are not morning people (!), to commit to doing something energetic first thing.
In Kundalini practice, we talk about what you put into it coming back sevenfold. So if you do yoga and meditation for three hours in the morning, it affects the whole rest of your day (21 hours) positively.
Now for some of us that is just not possible (at least I can’t see myself doing it with small children in the house … not least because they seem to sense when I am up out of bed and themselves wake up and NEED something! From me! Now!). But the principle remains and it’s a good reminder that it takes EFFORT and COMMITMENT to have the life you want. For most of us, it doesn’t just come calling.
Thanks for your comment!
on October 18, 2010 at 4:19 am
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[...] Stark Raving Muse. Kathy Crabb gives beautiful blog. She’s an artist and a creative blogger and a parent, and [...]
on November 10, 2010 at 11:41 pm
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[...] I believe this is only partially true, that there are other things involved — things like energy, awareness, and focus. But even these things don’t touch on a HUUU-UUUGE barrier to making [...]