Freak-out Friday v.2: Posting to Facebook

This week I had tasked myself with making a follow-up call to a firm where I intended to apply for a job.

I didn’t do it.

I didn’t do it because I didn’t send out my resume and cover letter.

I didn’t send out my resume and cover letter because I realized I have a good thing — no, a great thing — going on here and I’m not interested in messing with it.

Sure, I still have my day job. And that’s kind of the point. I work from home, in my socks, my schedule is flexible, my clients are great, I have time with my kids, the income is solid for now, and I’m pursuing my passion for being a creative person and surrounding myself with creative people. Why would I want to mess with that?

So instead of fulfilling my stated Freak-out Friday obligation, I picked another fear off my list and did it, impulsively, while stopped in traffic on the way to Northwest Trek today: I posted a link to this site on my Facebook page.

I know, I know, I’m up to 51 posts now and I just got around to it? Well … yeah. I was nervous.

See, I can sit here at my desk at 12:30 in the morning, flat darkness outside and the little electronic lullabies still looping in my kids’ room next door, and imagine that nobody is reading these words. I’m just calling into a black hole and my words are getting sucked up and crushed and swallowed by the universe. Nobody I knew in person, in real life, was reading this blog. That felt pretty safe.

Now, I know of at least three people I know IRL who’ve read it because I posted it on Facebook today. Honestly? I get a little panicky about that. It’s scary to be known, frightening to fling yourself out there to be seen by the people you love, whose love and approval you hope always to be worthy of. If it’s just a black hole, or a bunch or strangers, the risk is much lower.

But 239 of my closest friends? That’s nail-biting.

But I did it. And I didn’t die. I didn’t even get criticized.

But next week? The guest post submission?

Now that’s scary.

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Posted on August 14, 2010 at 12:36 am by starkravingmuse · Permalink
In: Uncategorized

4 Responses

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  1. Written by Robin Barre
    on August 14, 2010 at 8:44 am
    Reply · Permalink

    Hey Kathy, you brave woman you – any time I get to read your musings is a treat! Glad you took the plunge and announced your blog on FB. I am seriously considering starting one myself. But I, too, am a bit freaked out by the whole idea of it. I’m a great idea person but not always a great follow through person. So we’ll see. I look forward to reading more of these.
    Write on!

  2. Written by kommishoner
    on August 15, 2010 at 5:56 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    I was really excited to see it. And to know I was already “in the know”. You are awesome. Also, I love the things you *didn’t* do this week. I’m just figuring out how to not do those things too.

  3. Written by Alan
    on August 15, 2010 at 8:39 pm
    Reply · Permalink

    Good for you, this is quality stuff and others should know about it.

  4. Written by starkravingmuse
    on August 19, 2010 at 1:26 am
    Reply · Permalink

    Thanks all!

    Robin — do it! The world needs your words, too. BTW, I’d love to profile you and your art journals in this space if you’re willing. Let me know…

    xo
    K.

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